Words/Phrases That Rub Me the Wrong Way

Warning: I'm About to Rant

Illustration by Sylvie McKnight-Milles

And I LOVE IT!

Words/Phrases That Rub Me the Wrong Way

     “Resonate”, as in “Does this resonate with you?”  Picture the most annoying, group of phony people who are sure their farts smell like sunshine, nodding their heads in unison and the most popular of them stating with empathetic gooiness, “Ummm…that really resonates with me”.

     What the hell is that supposed to mean?  It’s an irritating word, used by irritating people with highly irritating frequency.

     “There’s going to be a paradigm shift”.  You know what this really means in an organization, “We in the ivory tower have decided that (without consulting you all in the trenches who have the real knowledge and experience,) to change everything we are doing and expect you to implement these changes with no additional funding.”

     It is usually followed by the obtuse phrase, “Do more with less-use your resources in creative ways”.  Really?  Once you’ve used a piece of toilet paper, refolding it with shit still on it, it’s just going to create a bigger problem, not solve anything.  Oh, I guess you could you the toilet paper tube to wipe too as a way to “do more with less”.  How about if the Ivory Tower people try that out first and let us know the results?  Just a thought.

     “Let’s agree to disagree”.  It’s not that I don’t understand the purpose behind this statement and I have used it in the past.  Basically, it’s a way to get out of a conversation that has turned heated (and into a possible a shouting match). 

     My issue with it, is that it resolves nothing.  Sometimes, nothing needs to be resolved, but sometimes, it does.  We cannot “agree to disagree” about systemic racism and flying the Confederate flag. We just can’t.  Because if I allow that, I am in fact making it “okay” for you to carry on in your racist ways.

     We cannot “agree to disagree” about women’s rights.  We just can’t.  If I allow that, I am allowing the mistreatment of women and I cannot do that. 

     Now, we can agree to “table” a discussion until we have both cooled our jets.  This is super hard.  Super, super hard.  Because who is going to be the one to bring it back up?  I hate confrontation, but I hate unjust practices more. 

     Oh, did I “make” you mad with my statements?  I suggest you stop reading.  Your choice.  But don’t burn the page/ or the blog…the Nazi’s did that…not cool. 

     I did throw a book away once as an adult.  It was billed as “Enchanting and mind shifting”.  I was expecting a fabulous tale, not one of a child being sold by a father to another man for horrible purposes, written in great detail.  I was so disgusted by the trickery of words that I threw the book away.  Then, I realized I was no better than the Nazi’s and dug it out of the trash.  I have since stuffed it in a bag in my closet with a note that explains to whomever finds it, my reasoning. 

     “There’s going to be a paradigm shift”.  I’ll tell you what this means in education…it means that the powers that be, who have either a. never taught in an elementary classroom or any classroom or b. are so far removed from the classroom and have not the slightest care in the world beyond their own ideas,

They are about to change the curriculum (so a bunch of money was spent on a new program). You as the classroom teacher have to suck it up and accept it even though it may run completely counter to developmentally appropriate practice.

     “Do more with less”. Yep, money and or people are about to be cut and you are going to have to spend your own money so that operations can continue.  Basically, money has been wasted (most likely on some other paradigm shift curriculum orprograms) and you in the trenches are going to suffer because of it.

     “Time to Pivot”.  Now in basketball, one would use this move to search for other players open to make a basket…the idea being that you would pass the ball to them.  But in Education and in business, it means, stop what you were doing (but we’re not going to admit that what we have given you in terms of previous advice that was ineffective or developmentally inappropriate) and NOW do this…and you have (pick some REALLY small number) of days to complete the training and to implement. 

     Oh, and it also means that if you plan on keeping your lessons engaging and interesting for your students or for your business partners, you are going to have to spend your own time doing so. But we will not admit that the lessons/advice we are giving you ( always presented as a “gift” to you) are boring as hell, created by people who have either never taught your grade, or been successful in the position you are , or are so far removed from it, that one read of the lessons or presentation tells you “Dullsville”.  If you are bored, your students, your clients, your colleagues will be bored.  So, when you hear “Hey, we are going to “Pivot” now you know what it really means. 

     “Whatever”.  Do you know what that really means, it means, I am dismissing you and anything you have to say or anything associated with you.  I am waving you off with one word. 

     Do not let people “whatever” you.  Now, I am not advocating verbally sparring with them, because you will lose.  They are the original “gaslighters”.  They will always get the last word even if it is uttered under their breathe.  I am not advocating physical violence!

     My pushback, the one that lets me take my power back, is to Valley Girl them.  Yes, that’s right, in my best 1980’s California Valley Girl a’ la Frank Zappa, is to “What (pause) ever” in Valley Girl and walk away.  I always feel better and they are left twisting in the wind…usually followed by them saying, “What? What? I didn’t mean anything by it.  Why do you have to be like that? (more gaslighting)”. Just keep walking, and if you can channel Frank Zappa in the process, all the better.

      “Puce” The word is ugly, the color is ugly. I cannot ever imagine myself saying or even entertaining the notion of “Hey, I think I’ll buy that Puce jacket” or “I think I’ll paint this room, Puce”.  It sounds like what’s left, after a hard night of vomit laced food poisoning.  “The last thing to come up, was the Puce”.

      “Let’s Form a Task Force” Yeah, right, let’s not and say we did…and let’s actually identify and solve the problem instead of making plans to meet, discuss, interrupt with tangential metaphors, and get NOWHERE! 

   Now  lest I leave you with the impression that I am a “Negative Nelly,” I will end with a few words, statements that bring joy to my heart:

1.    Let’s meet for coffee

2.    I’ll do the laundry

3.    I’ll plan this week’s dinners

4.    Here’s a gift card for a professional massage

5.    I made a playlist for you of all your favorite songs

6.    Let’s meet to solve this problem-come with your solutions and ideas and I’ll come with mine.  Let’s combine and make magic!

7.    Peckish…I just love this word to describe hunger

8.    What do you think or suggest? (Asked the Higher Up with active listening in place)

9.    “Remember when”…and then share a story that makes me cry happy tears of laughter.

     Life is short.  Live this day your way.  Live life your way.  Yes, those words are scary.  They are scary because they infer change.  But hey, if you would rather paint your bathroom “Puce,” “Form a Task Force” and “Resonate” with others, more power to you…just don’t expect me to do the same, in the process.

     Peace, out.

Now, share words/phrases that rub you the wrong way and maybe one or two that you love below. Thank you for reading/listening and for supporting my writing/storytelling.