Aptitude Test from the 1970's...and My Top Career Was...

       I suspect, that we were administered these tests, as a way to fill time in the school day. Very detailed and strict instructions were given as to how to fill in the oval bubble with our sharply pointed number 2 pencils.

      Some weeks after said test was given, the results were in. I hesitantly opened mine, and if memory serves, it was already summer and my sister’s received theirs too.

      My older sister’s was…something in science. No surprise there. My little sister’s was…Encyclopedia Salesperson. Okay, my older sister and I were hysterical, no holding back laughter. We pictured our slight of build little sister, hauling the heavy ass collection of encyclopedias door to door, working to convince the populace around us for the necessity of expanding their horizons by ordering a Pleather bound set.

       The, my results….a Mime.   Yes, that’s right, my top career was, Mime. If we had laughed hard before, we were holding back pee as the laughter hit the equivalent of DEFCOM 5. Mime? Mime!

       What, was I supposed to travel from town to town, top hat on its top, beckoning onlookers to toss a coin or two my way as I convinced them with my hands, face and white painted face that I was doing things, seeing things, reacting to things, that weren’t really there?

      It occurs to me so many years later, that in fact although I did not ever try this field, I spent the goodly part of my life, silent, hoping others would read my body language and give me what I really needed. The idea that I would use my voice to request needs, filled me with fear. Dear god, I have spent my life as a Mime, only not getting paid to do so.

      In recent years, I have spoken up and out, and have lost a few friends over this. My “No” was received with visceral anger and  “you’ve changed and not for the better.”

     Yes, I have evolved and I like myself so much better than before. Am I still attracted to horizontally striped shirts, black berets and black pants…okay, yes.

      But my days of doormat status are over. I wonder what an aptitude test would show for me now? Probably “Hermit.” I would add, “Hermit with the ability to socialize and then the necessity to cocoon after.”

     I have hope, hope for me. Hey, shameless plug here. My book, Out of Place: Coming of Age in Cold War Germany is available for preorder (look it up-it’s so exciting to see where it pops up! I have a PR team and they are lining up podcasts and other 21^st century book advertising. It is so fun to think about these people working to make my book and me a success. I am not alone. I am not miming. I am (or will be) speaking up and out. Unlike that one literary agent who turned down my book (oh, there were a shit load of agencies and small publishing houses who said no in various kind and also super snarky ways.) by saying, “No offence, but you are a Nobody.”

       I am Somebody. I decided not to pursue the Mime path.

Hey everyone, I will never charge for my Substack writing. It’s not my “thing.” I am asking you to give my coming book a chance. If nothing else, just look the book up. I have a book. I am an author. I made my lifelong dream, come true. I did it. I DID IT! (Insert Mime surprise face-hee hee) Hmm…maybe the above pose in the photo could be my “Pensive Headshot!”