Oh, I am so sorry, Mary. I felt the same when my sister died (cancer) and every single time one of my dogs has had to be put down. It is a soul-consuming feeling, and there's nothing to be done but endure it. But how hard for you to have to go through it again so soon.
I read your newsletter aloud to my husband and after I finished he said, "Good for Mary. Sometimes we need to sit with our feelings and be allowed to feel badly." Brent lost both of his parents 18 years ago, only six months apart from one another. It was a very difficult time for him as he was going through a divorce as well. He, too, has told me he felt like an orphan. He is the eldest of his siblings; he has a younger brother and sister. We live in what many refer to as "a grief illiterate society". I think it is tragic. People are so uncomfortable when speaking to others when they have lost loved ones. This is foreign to me because of my personality and who I am. There is no time limit on grief and all people grieve differently. You take all the time you need, Mary. You have just lost both of your parents in such a brief period of time. Sending you love.
It pleases me so, that you read my pieces aloud to your husband! There is just something so profoundly honoring, knowing that this is happening in the world. Thank you. Yes, we are a "grief illiterate society." Brent, I do not even know you, but now, in knowing your story, I feel like co-adult orphans and I don't feel so alone. Susan, thank you.
I pondered once if it’s easier to lose a loved one knowing they have lived a long and happy life. Someone who’d lost her parents in their 90s said it was actually harder, in her experience, because they’ve been a part of your life for so many years. Thank you for letting us stand beside you in your deep grief. 🙏
Liz, thank you! I guess everyone feels grief in their own way and I can only say for myself, that having had Mom (and my dad just died on Easter-ugh) and Dad for all of my 62 years and now not having them, I feel rudderless.
Mary (also April & Laura) -- we meet again in cyberspace. Trying to remember the last time we got together in person...probably for dinner at your folks' house. Might have been early 90's?
Saw this yesterday. Wasn't quite done missing your Mom, and totally understand Dad wanting to be together with her again so soon. As I pondered a response that honored your determination to experience what you must experience, sans overt expressions of sympathy, this "coincidentally" appeared in a social media channel yesterday. Knowing there are no coincidences:
Grief never ends… but it changes.
It’s a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith… it’s a price of love.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I think about this...but I do find it thought-provoking. Perhaps you all will too.
Ken, your words, your thoughts, your kindness and remembrances of Mom and Dad are all precious to me. Yes, I think (I am skipping around here) I think it was the early 90's. Wow. I'm not done missing Mom yet either.
I just remember and will never forget while attending my brother’s funeral my uncle looked at me and said, “Kathy, you’re the only one left.” What a statement and what a jolt! And that’s grief with a heavy load.
I read your newsletter aloud to my husband and after I finished he said, "Good for Mary. Sometimes we need to sit with our feelings and be allowed to feel badly." Brent lost both of his parents 18 years ago, only six months apart from one another. It was a very difficult time for him as he was going through a divorce as well. He, too, has told me he felt like an orphan. He is the eldest of his siblings; he has a younger brother and sister. We live in what many refer to as "a grief illiterate society". I think it is tragic. People are so uncomfortable when speaking to others when they have lost loved ones. This is foreign to me because of my personality and who I am. There is no time limit on grief and all people grieve differently. You take all the time you need, Mary. You have just lost both of your parents in such a brief period of time. Sending you love.
Oh, I am so sorry, Mary. I felt the same when my sister died (cancer) and every single time one of my dogs has had to be put down. It is a soul-consuming feeling, and there's nothing to be done but endure it. But how hard for you to have to go through it again so soon.
Thank you, Wendy. Yes, "Endure it" seems to be the only way through it.
I read your newsletter aloud to my husband and after I finished he said, "Good for Mary. Sometimes we need to sit with our feelings and be allowed to feel badly." Brent lost both of his parents 18 years ago, only six months apart from one another. It was a very difficult time for him as he was going through a divorce as well. He, too, has told me he felt like an orphan. He is the eldest of his siblings; he has a younger brother and sister. We live in what many refer to as "a grief illiterate society". I think it is tragic. People are so uncomfortable when speaking to others when they have lost loved ones. This is foreign to me because of my personality and who I am. There is no time limit on grief and all people grieve differently. You take all the time you need, Mary. You have just lost both of your parents in such a brief period of time. Sending you love.
It pleases me so, that you read my pieces aloud to your husband! There is just something so profoundly honoring, knowing that this is happening in the world. Thank you. Yes, we are a "grief illiterate society." Brent, I do not even know you, but now, in knowing your story, I feel like co-adult orphans and I don't feel so alone. Susan, thank you.
I just read your words to Brent and he is grateful to you. ❤️
I pondered once if it’s easier to lose a loved one knowing they have lived a long and happy life. Someone who’d lost her parents in their 90s said it was actually harder, in her experience, because they’ve been a part of your life for so many years. Thank you for letting us stand beside you in your deep grief. 🙏
Liz, thank you! I guess everyone feels grief in their own way and I can only say for myself, that having had Mom (and my dad just died on Easter-ugh) and Dad for all of my 62 years and now not having them, I feel rudderless.
Mary (also April & Laura) -- we meet again in cyberspace. Trying to remember the last time we got together in person...probably for dinner at your folks' house. Might have been early 90's?
Saw this yesterday. Wasn't quite done missing your Mom, and totally understand Dad wanting to be together with her again so soon. As I pondered a response that honored your determination to experience what you must experience, sans overt expressions of sympathy, this "coincidentally" appeared in a social media channel yesterday. Knowing there are no coincidences:
Grief never ends… but it changes.
It’s a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith… it’s a price of love.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I think about this...but I do find it thought-provoking. Perhaps you all will too.
Warmest regards,
Ken D
Ken, your words, your thoughts, your kindness and remembrances of Mom and Dad are all precious to me. Yes, I think (I am skipping around here) I think it was the early 90's. Wow. I'm not done missing Mom yet either.
Tight hug....
I just remember and will never forget while attending my brother’s funeral my uncle looked at me and said, “Kathy, you’re the only one left.” What a statement and what a jolt! And that’s grief with a heavy load.
I read your newsletter aloud to my husband and after I finished he said, "Good for Mary. Sometimes we need to sit with our feelings and be allowed to feel badly." Brent lost both of his parents 18 years ago, only six months apart from one another. It was a very difficult time for him as he was going through a divorce as well. He, too, has told me he felt like an orphan. He is the eldest of his siblings; he has a younger brother and sister. We live in what many refer to as "a grief illiterate society". I think it is tragic. People are so uncomfortable when speaking to others when they have lost loved ones. This is foreign to me because of my personality and who I am. There is no time limit on grief and all people grieve differently. You take all the time you need, Mary. You have just lost both of your parents in such a brief period of time. Sending you love.