Where Do I Begin?
And, no, the next words are not about love
Where to begin? Can I skip forward four years? Hmmm…I’ll be 67 then. No, gotta live in the now.
Okay, I’ll move on. My computer desktop is an absolute disaster area. I have taken so many screen shots and failed to give them names and then filed them in the appropriate file, that I hesitate to begin.
Oh, and I have (deep breath) 15 unopened boxes (actual boxes) labeled, “Papers.” Apparently, I have a filing problem. This is not news to me, it’s just seeing it in box form and laptop form is, well, the double cheek slap. I have no more cheeks to turn! (Well, on my face anyway)
Where to start? I don’t want to start. I hate this task. Why can’t I just have an assistant who loves to do this? Oh….right, I’m not rich. The county I worked for 29 years only gave me 50% of my retirement funds and failed to tell me when I signed my paperwork that at that VERY MOMENT I could have bought one of the years back that I had legally taken off when I gave birth to my daughter.
You know what, I am still f’in mad about that. I did everything in my power (hard to have power when you don’t have disposable income) to buy that year back to bring me to full retirement. No go. I have got to let this go. It’s been 7 years. But that’s my damn money!! I gave to my retirement fund for 29 years!! Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be letting this go. (Where’s a good Valium drip when you need it?)
And then there’s the fact that I’m 63. How did I get here? There’s this song, I just came across in my YouTube feed…I swear she wrote it about me.
Oh, and Rufus Wainwright takes this song and makes it soar.
The wonderful thing about me, is that despite it all, I still find an amazing amount of things, absolutely hysterical. Like Melania Trump’s Inauguration Ceremony hat. Very reminiscent of a Pilgrim. I love that I can still find laughter many times a day. What would I do without laughing? Cry…yeah, I cried in the shower again. It had stopped for a good long while, but then I remembered that my Mom and my Dad are dead. (Yes, I know that most people don’t capitalize names in that context but I don’t give a damn)
It is almost a year since March 2024, when they both left me…left us, my sisters and I, our children and all the others who loved them and knew them. Damn. As my Dad would say, “Well, time to get your ass in gear and start shoveling.” He wasn’t wrong. So, I shall end by thanking all my readers. Hey, let others know of my site if you would. You don’t have to agree with me to hit the heart. (Why does it have to be a heart? Seems like it should be a check box-yep, opened it, read it.)
Mary! I love this post! Laughter through the tears IS better. Whatcha gonna do, right?! Well, you've opened the blinds to the fact that I am not the only one facing filing challenges and frustrations and down right avalanched with STUFF! It's okay to cry and release the tension of the state of our lives, our country's dire situation, and the flood that comes with loss and deepest grief. Thank you for reminding me of that, and for reminding that laughter is good medicine. The biggest hugs to you! We'll all get through this, especially when we know we are not alone in it!
Many blessings and MUCH LOVE,
~Wendy💜🤗
P.S. Extra thanks for the pilgrim hat observation! I spit my tea all over the place, but that was so spot on! Have to say her recent choices of dress have been VERY telling! That 'handmaid's' collar at the church service, sheesh.....is all of this a push to get the women who worship her hubby to follow her in line?! Wow....just, wow!
Letting go doesn't mean forgetting. It helps you to not let such things happen again. Though don't let it make you dwell in a negative space. Easier said than done I know............