In the Shadows

Having a good cry and then a giggle.

I know this girl…she is 14, with her first SLR camera, a Pentax, handed down to her from her dad. Only, this photo is actually me at age 60. When I saw it, gigantic, stinging tears filled my eyes and for a moment, improved my vision, acting as magnifiers. The shadow looks like the me I have known since that first Pentax way back in 1975.

But, the woman in this shadow knows so much more. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t. I wish my parents weren’t so old, I wish my sisters and I were still young and together (even though we squabbled a lot, we always had each other). Sometimes, I just need a good cry. I don’t want anyone to see me, comfort me, stop me from snotting my way through the emotions…I just want to cry, and I do.

Did you ever just have “crying stuck inside”? I get that from time to time. I don’t even know what the “cry” is for, I just know that I have it inside. Today…I think the cry was for the change of seasons, watching the last Honeybees collect nectar from the wildflowers I let grow in my gardens for these late season warm days. One bee had sooooo much pollen on her legs, she looked like she had on Pollen Pants!

Pollen plants-when I say that aloud, the crying feeling leaves me and I get a giggling feeling. So, I just giggle, “Pollen Pants”. Once there was a Honeybee and her name was Linda Grant. She gathered so much pollen today that her legs looked like golden pants. Oh Pollen Pants, oh Pollen Pants, how warm and cozy you are. Oh Pollen Pants, oh Pollen Pants, gathered from near and far. Hee, Hee.