Hello, You. Where ya' Been?

Hello, You. Where Ya’ Been?

I am content. For the first time ever, I am finding myself living day to day, moment to moment and letting the rentless garbage wheel of anxiety and expectation behind.

      I think perhaps, that this new state of being, is taking some getting used to after a life stuffed too full with worry for what is, for what isn’t and what might be.

       Music is my refuge. It reaches so deep inside, to pluck and strum chords of delight. I gave up piano at age 12. It was not the instrument for me, not then, and not now. Is it too late to pick up guitar? I think not.

       I get to decide. Why didn’t I know this to the depths of me, for so, so long? New questions need research, answers, more questions, more pondering and pursuing. I am a content, restless spirit. Can those two truths exist in one? Yes, I know that can, because they do.

       Perhaps it takes a certain level of contentment with self, to allow for restlessness. It feels more like a return to my real self, that I have shape shifted out of myself, for others most of my life. I am not willing to do this anymore. I can’t. Mary doesn’t live there anymore.

      So, you feel your Holiday joy and magic. I do not begrudge you in the least. Joy on. I find my solace in the realization that a good song has my heart, always has, I was just too afraid of my weirdness, my uniqueness to say it, to show it, to know it.

       I have found “home.” It is inside of me. It goes where I go. It’s always been there, patiently waiting, for me to pick it up and wander again.

       Thank you for reading Sweet Souls. If you find your heart wandering and searching, perhaps a song by Lisa Hannigan will help you find your way home…to yourself. Hello, You. Thank you for waiting for me.