"Being Peace" When Someone is Yelling at Me

Making a Choice

I was calmly waiting in line at the local pharmacy, embedded in the Target close to my house. There was no one in front of me, save for the person already checking out, so when the pharmacy clerk said, “Next in line” I began to move my cart up to the window.

       “Oh no you don’t!” a person yelled.

     I turned to my right to identify the source, and a woman came barreling forward with her cart, yelling at me, “I was next! I was here before you even arrived. You’re trying to steal my space, and oh no you don’t. You see me, you just pretend not to.”

     She was not in the line. She was in the aisle next to the pharmacy line, and no, I did not see her, because she wasn’t visible. I wasn’t trying to steal her space, I wasn’t pretending anything, I was simply waiting my turn in the proper place.

     I had to quickly decide on how to respond. I am a person who values staying myself and not changing with the moods of others. My response was, “I’m so sorry. This is the line over here, so I did not see you. You go ahead.” Her response was as follows.

       “That’s right, you better be sorry, you and your white privilege better move aside.”

     Now, I am white. She was (and still is) African American. I could only imagine, the number of times, she had been overlooked, underestimated, and a whole host of other possible indignities due to the ongoing systemic racism in our society. How could I communicate to her, that I am a person of peace?

     My daughter was visibly agitated. She loves me dearly and knows that I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just waiting in the designated line for our turn.

     I decided on silence, as I had already apologized and stated why I was doing what I was doing…moving forward in the line. I moved my cart back and quietly explained to my daughter why I did what I did. “I will not let other people change who I am. I do not wish conflict. My goal is to pick up my medication, and I will meet that goal. I don’t know what that person’s story is, and I don’t need to. I only need to know who I am and acknowledge her humanness.”

     My daughter said, “Mommy, you shouldn’t let people walk all over you.” She was being protective.

     I responded, “I didn’t. I just chose peace. There would be nothing to gain by further discussion with that individual. No one would win and the situation would escalate to an anger that would solve nothing.”

      I felt such an inner calm, knowing that I could speak my truth, be my truth and no one’s words or actions would change that. I imagine that that woman will tell the story differently. I cannot control that, I can only control myself.

     Tell me about a time, you were challenged by a situation and you stayed true to yourself. Truly, share your experience so we can all learn. Thank you for reading today. Pass it on-Be the Peace.