Yesterday, I took three of my little students at a time, to play the upright piano and to also watch the inner workings as they explored.
To say that the experience was magical would be a total understatement. Watching their eyes, as their little fingers touched the keys, eyes widening as that action produced a sound, their sound, their song, their experience, opened my closed heart, inspired me, and drove me to begin again.
About 50 years ago, I participated in a piano recital and I forgot the song midway. 12 years old, sweating to the point of cold sweats, blackness in my vision, no song in my brain and the sudden and piercing loss of all joy in my heart. The silence of the audience and yet the palpable throb of the blood in my ears, my polyester dress moving from the frequent beats, and huge blobs of tears brimming at lower eyelids, held back by grit and finally plopping to the keys.
The song returned after four tries and after I finally finished, the audience stood and thunderously applauded. And I stood there, ready to throw up, with the internal conviction that I would never play again, and never did.
And then, there was yesterday. When I got in my car to return home, I filled the air with my voice, uplifted, and the opening 50 years in the making. Oh, I will play the piano. And it’s all because, of the joy, the awe, the fearless exploration I had the honor of being a part of, all because of the children.
May you find that joy, that exploration, and that freeing experience of your own. What has held you back? Or, what are you holding back, what have you abandoned? What has freed you from yourself?
Thank you for reading and thank you dear children for taking me back to myself.
Beautiful post, Mary! 🎹
In December, I watched a performance of The Nutcracker and had a surreal experience as an audience member. You see, I used to perform in this for years, so I knew just about every part! I was starstruck by the beauty of the artistry, music, and production quality. I’d hold my breath during certain scenes, knowing the secret effort it takes to accomplish a certain movement or series of steps. I hung up my ballet shoes over 13 years ago, and I’m realizing how much the art still means to me. I want to find more ways to engage with movement myself. Maybe taking drop in adult classes? 🩰
I lost my song! Twenty three years ago, my world collapsed in on me. It’s what pros call “a major life event”. No sense in going into the details, but suffice it to say it left me in pieces. On a whim, or dare, depending on how you look at it, I started classical voice training. I got a very rough start, but I couldn’t let one more thing to fail! I persisted and got pretty good too! And, as things started going sideways a fell once again, I lost my song. While I haven’t found my song, I have found some laughter... and that’s a good start. ❤️